Archive for August, 2008

The Hungry Duck

August 27, 2008

Please only fulfill this request
if you can do it with the joy
of a small child feeding a hungry duck.

Please do not oblige me if you feel
coercion of any kind, such as by guilt,
shame, punishment, reward, duty,
or obligation”

This is a card to hand out after making a request. Based on NVC – Marshall Rosenberg.

Been finding many more great resources:

Raising Children Compassionately
by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Resisting the Urge to Throw a Pain Ball
By Serena Fennell

An excellent summary on Wikipedia

Amazon

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Real Estate developoments! Moves.

August 25, 2008

We are in the process of getting a new venue for the Horse Riding. We have a plan of moving ro a beautiful little valley site about 10 K past Tai Tapu – near the Blue Duck Café – (was Black Tulip)

To make all this happen we are selling two properties in Christchurch.

A 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom Apartment in Hagley Avenue its on Trade Me looks good.

We also have one in Nicholls Street in Shirley. It is for sale and for rent! Trade Me CRT

Kate and I have been working hard, to make sure we are doing the right thing. And yes, Parkhill will be a great place for us. I’ll post some picks up of this romantic new place!

The places we are selling have absorbed a lot of our time & energy they look good! They are priced very realistically, to suit this market.

How I manage Podcasts on my iPod

August 21, 2008

I don’t like the iTunes subscription system as I get too many episodes that I don’t want. Also it is tricky to manage when to keep and when to delete, the iPod (now iPhone) seems to fool me every time just as I trust it.

Here is my way, I like it.

I subscribe to podcast sites via Google Reader, and then download only the episodes I want. Yes, I manually choose my listening. They go to my download folder. I copy them into Itunes. Sort them by Date added (that field needs to be set up as visible in iTunes) I make them all genre = podcast in iTunes.

I sync the mobile. They go into the iPod where they show up in an ordinary Smart Playlist I have set up in iTunes and set up to sync – called “0 Podcasts”.

The way I manage them on the iPod is to have two more Smart Playlists, based on star ratings:

* Podcasts
** Podcasts

the first is for delete, the other one is for the odd podcast I want to save.

After a sync, in iTunes I sort by rating and delete all items with one star.
I move & save items I want to keep off the iPod.

Try it, it is great! But I am open to hearing about improvements on that.

How do you manage podcasts on the iPod/iPhone?

Here is my Google Reader list of Podcasts I sub to..

Murray Gell-Mann

August 20, 2008

Wikipedia

Murray_Gell-Mann: Home

book Amazon

book Amazon

I want to quote one review from Amazon:

4.0 out of 5 stars The True Meaning of this Book, November 11, 2000
By Leonardo Motta
I decided to write this review because I thought none of the reviews really mentioned the main focus of this book. This is not a book about Quantum Mechanics, nor molecular biology, nor neurobiology. In this book, the great Gell-Mann exposes his ideas of why all subjects of science (from physics, to chemistry, to biology, to psychology) must be studied together, why they are related and also he shows models of how to do this unified study. He defends that reductionism is not the only way of doing science, in opposition of the philosophical ideas of Steven Weinberg and Richard Feynman. This book is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, because there aren’t many books that are against pure reductionism written by reductionism defenders. Gell-Mann is not against reductionism, but against PURE reductionism; he think its nice to explain a complex phenomenon based on the theory of its contents but its also important to study the phenomenon in his actual level, studying the way that the complex works. Not only the simple. Thats the origin of the name: Quark, the simple, and the Jaguar, the complex.

Beauty is Truth

August 20, 2008

Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

Ode on a Grecian Urn – John Keats

I just listened to a

Click to play, right click to download
TED talk by Murray Gell-Mann

He is eloquent about how beauty works in the investigation of truth in science. Beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder, there is pattern in nature, there is symmetry and self symmetry.

Why this is such a great talk for me is that it ties in with an essay I wrote a few years ago (and it is still under construction) about practice based evidence in psychotherapy. I write about a profound knowing that happens in psychotherapy that is scientific, and not at all like the physical sciences. Nor is it part of the social research that looks scientific but is just pseudo science.

Psychotherapy & Science

especially the section on Alice that concludes:

Finding repeating patterns in what might at first glance appear to be unrelated material is very like the scientific endeavour in the physical world. Once a pattern is clearly seen then we have established a law of nature. To think of the work with Alice – which is typical of our psychotherapeutic work – as a form of research requires a shift of perspective, but it is clearly in a similar realm.

The dynamics that repeat independently of the content are understood through a visceral experience, tears and laughter. When yet another instance of the pattern is spotted it corroborates and often extends the understanding. When the dynamic is evident, though in a minor way in the psychotherapy itself it is a full experiential knowing that is shared in the psychotherapy space. Both the psychotherapist and the client can easily use such words as knowing, understanding which are the very things that scientific research aims for.

Socialist Aotearoa

August 20, 2008

Socialist Aotearoa

If you’ve changed your lightbulbs recently or decided to get yourself one of those reusable green bags from Foodtown then good on you, but you may want to consider that although New Zealand has one of the highest carbon footprints per person in the entire world, the vast majority of our greenhouse gases are created by massive companies like Fonterra, Comalco / Rio Tinto, Solid Energy and Genesis Energy who have more influence over the New Zealand climate protection policy than you can shake a lightbulb at. So should we be concerned that these mega-polluting giants are the ones who get to tell Helen Clarke, Kevin Rudd and the rest of us whats good for the climate? We certainly think so and would like to invite everyone else who agrees to join us this Wednesday for the final day of the conference.

Formal and colloquial NVC

August 20, 2008

I am excited ant the distinction between Formal and colloquial NVC (Dan mentioned it tody over lunch) & I have followed up on it.

I get into the bind about the formal stuff I teach in the Intentional Dialogue. Of course it can be used colloquially, ionfomally.

I think though that the formal dialogue is needed, perhaps as a guide to a mopre integrated clean communication.

The dialogue is a discipline and I think the psyche needs that structure to go deep. To go fast.

Language!

August 19, 2008

The medium is the message, and language is foul! Marshall Rosenberg calls it Jackal language. Cognitive Behaviour therapy and Rational Emotive therapy, Imago as well as Marshall Rosenberg’s NVC non violent Communication all focus on what I am calling Clean Speech. Both in sending & receiving.

Embedded in our language are the forces of domination! It makes sense. The power structures of domination build a system of ideology to support them and the place for thoise controls to hide are in the cultue in many ways – and almost invisibly in the language. Changing language is potent!

Being non-exclusive in language has made a difference. Look at how we had to deal with the way he meant she in English, I say had, but the fight is not over, but we have come a long way.

Not so with language of love… all day in my work as a relationship therapist I listen to language that attributes blame to the other. The dicipline of the Imago dialogue is great, it handles a lot of it, but there is lots more to develop. This is a science.

What I have not heard anyone say, though they may have, is that “clean speech” is another road to the unconscious. So often the CBT and RET schools deny the efficacy of the relationship as a tool for healing and of the power of the unconscious. Clean speech is essentially to speak from experience, and to uncover its layers. To make the unconscious conscious… in a relationship! Clean speech is a way of working with the transference & counter transference.

Wikipedia

Rosenberg Naturally Nonviolent

QUESTION: What is nonviolent communication?

ANSWER: It’s the way of thinking, communicating and using power that helps us connect to one another in a way that we enjoy contributing to one another’s well-being. It’s an attempt to live in harmony with certain values. But since we’ve been educated for about 8,000 years in domination structures, that does not make contributing to one another’s well-being easy.

Great interview with Marshall Rosenberg http://www.yesmagazine.org/article.asp?ID=837

If I’m in conflict with people, I try to hear what needs they have. Now, “needs,” as we define the term, are universal; all human beings have the same needs. So if I connect to what people are needing, I’m one with them. I care about their needs. At the moment that they sense that I am as interested in their needs as my own, we can find a way to get everybody’s needs met.

So more concretely, what would that look like? This man might say, “Our work is not going to harm the environment. Our tests have demonstrated that this is not going to harm the environment.” So, this person shares the same needs that I have. I want to protect the environment. Apparently, he’s concerned about the environment also.

Now, where we might differ is in our ways of measuring whether something is harmful to the environment. But notice our needs are not in conflict. This person doesn’t want to destroy someone’s habitat, and he doesn’t want to be a menace. You see?

More excerpts follow.

(more…)

Anthropology

August 17, 2008

Thanks Dan for the link! It helps me feel not so bad about my podcasts! Like I need to move through the awkward phase.

And for good measure here is the song from the movie (again)

O

Afghanistan – not a good war – gathering some info.

August 12, 2008

I am figuring out why the hell we, New Zealand is in Afghanistan. Why it seems almost secret that we are there. Why Obama wants to escalate the war. Some links in no particular order.

http://www.antiwar.com/orig/hallinan.php?articleid=13242

By any measure, a military “victory” in Afghanistan is simply not possible. The only viable alternative is to begin direct negotiations with the Taliban, and to draw in regional powers with a stake in the outcome: Iran, Pakistan, Russia, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, China, and India.

But to do so will require abandoning our “story” about the Afghan conflict as a “good war.” In this new millennium, there are no good wars.

Look at this link if you have a good stomach for atrocity.

Phil Goff 2005 on why we are there – he calls it Peace keeping – sounds like double talk to me. The news today about civilian deaths.

Wikipedia summary

I was hoping to find more from the Greens. Its all a bit stale, and the upshot is that our involment is a token. there is this. And Keith Lock’s original opposition to the war in 2001. And his comments on rebellion of the New Zealand SAS make interesting reading! Here, and here.

Ok, it may be that New Zealand can keep out of the worst of it, but it is there alonside an invader. The are complicit even if the SAS has rebelled. I wonder what the deeper story is – who rebelled, what do they say now?

Scoop has a recent Govt press release.

Amnesty notes torture by US

Gwynne Dyer: Afghanistan – A war won and lost London Journalist via the New Zealand Herald – also last years, but has some analysis.

Facebook

August 12, 2008

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